I sleep with my boss and it’s the best thing ever! (Did I just say that out loud?!)
It’s Monday morning and I walk into work and there he is – the man I slept with last night! How do I act? Do I go up and give him a kiss? Do I ignore him and just walk past? To some, this may sound crazy, but for my husband and me, it’s just another typical Monday of working with your spouse!
Working with your spouse can be one of the greatest adventures in life! Sure, it can definitely have it’s up and downs and requires intentional living, but imagine working towards a business goal or creating something amazing with the very person who knows you and supports you the most, your spouse!
I LOVE working with my spouse
My husband and I have been married for 8 years and while we were engaged, our future plans didn’t include working together. I was a worship pastor major and my husband had just moved to the U.S. from Australia, where he worked in logistics in the Royal Australian Air Force.
Working with your spouse was something I’d seen growing up, as my parents worked together, but I never imagined that would be a part of my marriage.
After we got married, my husband and I started working for our family business and over these past eight years, we have worked together to franchise our business.
I honestly love working with my husband and I couldn’t see our lives any other way. Although our journey of working together hasn’t always been easy or smooth, we have used those moments of tension to grow us stronger, not only as co-workers but as husband and wife.
Working together is better than separate
Working with your spouse isn’t for everyone and that’s ok. If you are thinking about working with your spouse before you decide to take the leap, take a really long and hard look at your relationship.
The first thing you should ask yourself is, “do you enjoy spending 24 hours a day with your spouse”? I’ll be honest, I LOVE spending the whole day with my husband. We’ve always been that way and I LOVE that about our relationship and it works really well for us and our work relationship and marriage.
If you like having separate time from your spouse or you easily get in disagreements about things, then maybe working together isn’t the wisest choice. If that’s the case, it’s ok! It doesn’t make your marriage or relationship less amazing than the couples that do work together. Each relationship is different and you have to do what is best for your relationship!
For us, working together is way better than working separately. Before marriage, we both had separate careers and now that we’ve worked together for eight years, we can confidently say it’s way better working together!
We have had days where we’ve questioned our working relationship and we’ve definitely not seen eye to eye, but we’ve learned how to work through those situations.
Because we focus on working as a team, when we hit obstacles or disagreements, we choose to work through it together instead of blaming the other person. It takes a lot of work, but for us, it’s so worth it!
Our strengths complement each other
My husband and I are similar but we definitely have our different strengths and weaknesses. I am really good at organization, writing, and creating plans and content.
My husband is amazing at seeing the big picture, dealing with situations and problem-solving (plus a million other things). I balance out his weaknesses and he balances out mine! I feel it’s one of the secret ingredients that makes working together successful.
So let me ask you this….
How do your strengths and weaknesses work with your spouses? Are you too similar or do you complement each other?
Let’s dive into some of the things we’ve learned over the last eight years and what we consider some of our best advice!
– Here’s our best advice for working with your spouse –
Choose your battles wisely
Let me give you some advice, friend!!! Pick your battles wisely and accept now that you won’t always be right. Yes, I’m sorry… your partner may be right sometimes!
If you attempt to work with your spouse and you always have to be right, then buckle down for a hard journey! If you are more focused on having to be right, you’re never going to get anything done!
Remember, working with your spouse is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Plus, you have to go home with your spouse and sleep with them and no one wants to go to bed angry (at least I don’t!)!
When you have a disagreement, which you will, don’t get defensive. Take the emotions out of the situation and really look at what’s best for that particular situation you’re in. Not who’s going to be right or wrong.
Trust me, if you have to win every battle, you’ll end up losing the war and possibly your marriage. It’s just NOT worth it!
Keep it out of the bedroom
I believe one of the hardest parts of working with your spouse is not talking constantly about work! Before we had kids, work was all we talked about! Horrible, I know! Now that we have kids, all we talk about is our kids and work. We’re trying to get better at finding more topics to talk about!
It takes a lot of intention and restraint to stop yourself from talking about work at home. But let’s be honest, you will talk about work at home. It’s inevitable! But, you can choose when you talk about it.
After years of struggling with this, I now ask myself this question now. “Is this worth talking about now or can it wait until tomorrow?” If it can wait, I write it down and wait till tomorrow. If it’s super pressing, we talk about it then.
Your marriage needs to always be the number one priority and you need to have some separation with work! But let me share some insider information. You will never have a clear separation from work and you’ll never truly have a work/life balance.
I like to think of a work/life balance more like a tide. Every day the tide goes in and out and you’ll have moments when you talk or focus more on work or your relationship.
There will be days or seasons where one will seem more dominant and that’s ok as long one area doesn’t become a tsunami! When work or your personal life far outweighs the other, you’ll have problems. Don’t seek to find a perfect balance, you won’t find it in a relationship where you work with your spouse. Just aim to avoid the tsunami and go with the tide!
You can successfully work with your spouse
At the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade working with my spouse! For us, it’s perfect and we work really hard to make it successful. There are certainly days (or weeks) when we struggle and have to adapt, but we use those moments to bring us together as a team versus something that tears us apart.
If you decide to work with your spouse or you already work with your spouse and want to make it a better working relationship, here is my greatest advice: be each other’s cheerleader!
Remember, you go home with your spouse and you have created an amazing life outside of work together. You are together in life and work and are a united team.
What could possibly be better than cheering for your teammate, who’s your best friend and spouse! Keep the important things priority and don’t let things divide you. Use it to unite you instead!
Enjoy the life you’ve created together
I believe with all my heart that working successfully with your spouse is possible and can really be an amazing, unique life that you build together.
It will be one of the most challenging journeys you embark on, but what could be better than building something with your very best friend by your side, your spouse! Go out and conquer the world together!
We’ll be here cheering you on!
If you’re looking for more tips on growing your relationship, check out my post on setting goals with your spouse. It will be sure to fire you up to set some awesome goals with your partner and crush me!