We finally did it! It only took us until our 8th Wedding Anniversary, but we finally sat down and wrote down our family and marriage goals! Why is it a big deal to be setting goals with your spouse? It’s a big deal because we’ve certainly had plenty of dreams over the first 8 years of our marriage, but we never took the time to write them down, until now.
Why is it important to be setting goals with your spouse and actually write down your dreams? Good question! I believe there is tremendous power when you commit to actually writing down your goals/dreams on paper. When you decide to actually fill a piece of paper with your goals, all of a sudden they can’t disappear! They have been committed to ink and have been spoken out for the world (or maybe just you and your spouse) to see!
How many times have you set a goal and then forgotten about it?! Maybe it just me, but I seem to do it daily! We all have good intentions when it comes to setting goals, but if it isn’t written down, in my opinion, it’s kind of worthless!
So..... do you want to set goals with your spouse and commit it to paper? Then read on! Here are my five tips for setting goals with your spouse. Plus, don’t forget to download my free printable goal setting sheets to put those goals on paper!!!
5 Tips For Setting Goals With Your Spouse:
1. Set aside time with your spouse
I think that this alone can be harder than actually thinking of goals! Everyone seems to be busier than ever and finding time to actually stop with your spouse can seem like a scheduling nightmare! But let's face it.... we find time for what's important or what we really want to do! You can find the time! Get your calendar's out and set an appointment with each other and don't break it! Treat this as your most important appointment! It's not like your future depends on it or anything?! 😉
2. Find a place that's special and inspires you
Congratulations! You've penciled in your date with your spouse! Now you need to pick a place to go! My husband and I chose our Anniversary weekend to write down our goals. We were lucky enough to have a night away from our girls and stayed at a gorgeous boutique hotel in Wayzata, MN. We decided to take part of the weekend and set aside time to work on our goals and find somewhere that made us feel inspired and challenged.
What does that look like for you? Think about what that place is for you and plan to visit there to write down your goals!
For us, our inspirational place was a cute little french bakery! We ordered our latte's and croissants and proceeded to the back patio and sat next to their water feature with flowers all around. Oh, and we can't forget about the French music playing overhead! Sounds like the perfect place to be inspired, right?!! This got our dreams stirring and put us in the perfect frame of mind and the goals just flowed as we sipped our latte's!
What inspires you and your spouse? Is it a coffee shop, a hike, a special restaurant, or something that's special just to you? Go to that place, wherever it may be, and let it inspire you!
3. Write down your 10 years goals and work backward
Determine how many years you are going to write goals for. For us, we wrote out our 1, 3, 5 and 10-year goals. Instead of writing our one-year goals first, we started with our ten-year goals. Why is it important to work backward? You hear it said a lot to "work backward" and it's true. Some of our 10-year goals require actions and planning over the next ten years in order to accomplish them. One of our ten-year goals is to be able to work remotely for extended periods of time. As business owners, this doesn't happen overnight. We have to strategically work and plan for this to happen or else it simply won't!
What is a goal that will require planning? Write down your big goal and then write down the steps that you will have to take during the next few years to accomplish this goal. Then continue on to your 5, 3, and 1-year goals and do the same. You'll be amazed at how tangible and achievable these goals may seem after breaking them down and focusing on small actionable steps that make the bigger goal a reality.
4. What makes you, your spouse, and family unique? What are your passions?
Think outside of the box! Allow yourself and your spouse to DREAM BIG!! This is your shot to write down your craziest dreams you have for your marriage and family. Why not? Don't limit yourself to only writing down small dreams. Don't get me wrong, those are great to have too, but write down some BIG dreams too! Why? Because why not!! You were created to live a BIG life and that will look different for each couple and/or family. Try answering these questions and see if it sparks some big dreams in you.
What is the craziest thing you'd like to do in your marriage and/or family?
If money wasn't an option, what would you do?
What is your dream career?
What is your dream lifestyle?
Allow yourself to go there! Allow yourself to look beyond what seems tangible and possible. Dare to allow yourself to dream like a kid and see if maybe, just maybe, these are actually dreams you really do want to accomplish. And if they are... work backward and develop a tangible plan to make it happen!
Writing goals for multiple years allows you to look into your future to see what you want your life to be like instead of letting life just happen. Take the time to make sure you are including goals for multiple areas in your life. For example, your marriage, family, personal goals, professional goals, travel goals, health goals, etc. You can have as many categories as you'd like. You can download my free goal worksheets for 1, 3, 5 and 10-year goals here to get you jump started!
The most important thing, above all of these tips, is that you JUST DO IT! Regardless of if you can get away to a place that inspires you or all you can do is make time after the kids go to bed, just find the time! Don't let years race by without talking and writing down what your goals are as a married couple, a family, and as individuals. Time will go too quickly and one day you'll wake up wondering why you haven't reached your goals!
~ Happy Goal Setting! ~